The Conquerment of Larch Mountain

The road up to Larch Mountain went down fighting today. Ben, Richard and I stormed the hill with the fervor of religion and one goal in mind... get to the top. We left my house at around 7:15 AM and headed for the hill. It was a good crew of equal or near equal ability, and we set a good pace out the Springwater to Stark and eventually out the old Columbia Highway. Ben pulled pretty much from the Sandy River to the turn off for Larch Mountain Road, which marks the start of a 14 mile climb to the parking lot at the top of Larch Mountain.

I really had no idea what to expect from the ride. Lon described it, as he describes most things, as a piece of cake, but I have ridden enough with Lon to know that a piece of cake to Lon means that it will kick my ass and leave me puking on my shoes. This turned out to be a fairly accurate assesment of Larch Mountain. All I can say is that it just keeps going and going and going and going. There are really no flats or down hill sections after the first 4 or 5 miles, so there is really no where to rest, just keep pedalling, mile after god forsaken mile. It was brutal, and with every tenth pedal stroke came the urge to stop and rest and my will to fight that urge diminished with every bead of sweat that poured out of me. It was an epic battle fought in the trenches. I spent the last 2 miles fighting the puke, which turned out to be enough of an attention distractor to get me to the top. And I didn't puke. Sweet.

The descent was both victorious and raucous. Like a sailor on shore leave for the first time in months. All of the potential energy wound up on the climb was released in a furocious volley to the bottom. I hit 42MPH and was yelling into the wind as the pavement flew from my wheels. It was amazing.

The Beach Was Reached!

Date: Saturday, May 19th, 2007
Ride Time: 5:44
Distance: 104.3 miles
Average speed: 17.3 mph

Justin and I made the 100 mile Reach the Beach ride in triumphant fashion and quaffed our victorious pints like pillaging Viking warlords.

The ride was great. We loaded up our pockets with all the free ClifShots and bars we could hold and left the start line at about 7:30AM amid a wash of other Portland cyclists. We kept a good, fast pace as we headed out south west from Portland, and I was surprised that the route actually went up Kruger road, which is a fairly long climb. The descent off of Kruger was so much fun, and both Justin and I were feeling great. We stopped and quickly filled our water bottles and kept rolling on towards Amity.

It began to be clear that the headwind we had been riding into all day was not going to subside; in fact, it was gaining strength as we made our way west. There was one stretch of about 7 or 8 miles that was on pretty rough pavement with a direct headwind, which was the worst bit. Once we made it through that stretch, we were fine and everything else seemed like cake.

The last rest stop we took advantage of was in Grand Ronde, which left about 25 miles to the end. After we filled up our water bottles and at some more bars and ClifShots, we headed out. I felt unusually strong still, and decided to hammer to the end. There was a stretch coming down off the costal range to the beach that was just amazing... it wound along the river and had a great road surface and no wind because of the tree cover. My legs felt great and I had lots of energy due to all the free snacks, so I was flying. There was one bit where Haystack Rock careens into view as you drop out of the hills, indicating that the end is near; which is an awesome feeling, and gave me another boost.

I quickly found myself being cheered on by a bunch of folks as I pulled into Pacific City and on to the Pelican Brew Pub where the finish line was. It was pretty cool to have a bunch of strangers cheering me on as I pulled into the parking lot. It took me a second to realize that it was really the end, and I totally felt like I could have kept going. The worst part about the end was the fact that they were blasting Hootie and the Blowfish through the PA.

I checked my bike into the storage lot, resisted the strong urge to get beer and waited for Justin to arrive, which he did only about 15 mins behind me. We went straight through the food line, which turned out to be a less than stellar spread of bland and unimpressive, fajita-like fixings, but fortunately, there was beer and we did quaff.

Mandy and Violet showed up a little later and we chowed some food and enjoyed the cycling nerdy and the fine Pelican Brewpub's beer. We ran into Lon and Sally, who also rode the 100 miles.

All in all, it was a great ride with no mechanical or medical problems and decent enough weather. We had a house at the beach with a hot tub and a weekend-long babysitter, so the rest of the weekend was spent relaxing on the beach. Good times.

St. Helens And Around The Horn

Date: Sunday, May 6th, 2007
Leave: 7:00AM
Return: 12:35PM
Distance: 86.7 miles
Average speed: 17.6 mph

Thankful that Ben was a work-induced DNS since he wanted to meet downtown at 6:30AM (which would have meant leaving the house by 6AM), Justin and I hooked up at the more reasonable time of 7:30AM at the base of the Broadway Bridge. After a quick cup of joe at Anna Banana's, we were off out Highway 30 towards the bustling metropolis of St. Helens, Oregon.

The ride out to St. Helens is super flat with only a couple of low rollers, so we made great time getting out there. I had just bought some new shorts and a new jersey, along with a huge vat of Cytomax, so I was enjoying my new gear. The weather was a little on the chilly side early on, but was fine once we were moving.

At one point in the ride, a huge tour bus came screaming by us, fast enough so that the mirror WHIZZED by my ear. I thought to myself, "dicks." Then, about 2 or 3 miles up the road, that very same bus was pulled over by a cop. "Ha! Dicks" I thought to myself. Another 5 miles or so, we arrived at our turn around of St. Helens, and stopped at Burgerville so I could put a small cheeseburger in my face. Turns out that tour bus was at the very same Burgerville, and they were a travelling marching band, called The Get a Life Marching Band -- a nice, portly group of aged band nerds. One guy asked me, "how far you ridin'?" I answered, "About 80 miles." To which he proceeded to tell all 30 of the other members of the band, "this guy is riding his bike 80 miles! I've never even heard of that! I can't even ride 1 mile!" to which a band mate replied, "That because you're a fat ass Chris." Funny.

The ride back on Highway 30 was nice, and I introduced Justin to the merits of drafting another rider. We parted ways after the St. John's bridge cause he had to get home or something, and I wanted to get a lap around the horn in before closing up shop. I felt pretty good all the way home, and had plenty of legs to stay in the big chainring just about the entire day. I can't wait for Cycle Oregon.

On Any Sunday

Date: Sunday, April 22nd, 2007
Leave: 7:00AM
Return: Noon
Distance: 69.78 miles
Average speed: 15.4 mph

Drop-kicked my second kick ass ride out to Multnomah Falls with Captain Crafty yesterday. Gaht Damn that ride is awesome. Early on, it looked like we were on track to be dumped on all day like last time, but I only got hit by about 10 drops of rain all day. It stayed pretty cool all day, which was actually good because I was dressed for cold and rain.

We met up at the intersection of the I205 bike path and the Springwater trail about 7:15 and headed east towards the falls. The weather was a mix of ominous grey clouds and peering sunshine, and there's a stretch of the Springwater Trail east of I205 that absolutely teams with wildlife at that time of morning after a big rain. We saw upwards of 20 rabbits, tons of ducks and geese, feral cats and even a coyote -- it was very bucolic. We passed the time with conversation and a leisurely pace and made our way up 180th to Stark and had a nice descent down to the Sandy River at the base of the first climb of the day.

Justin crammed a couple of Shot Bloks in his face just as we were starting to ascend up towards Corbett, and learned the hard way that climbing with a mouthful of energy chews sucks balls. It's a nice climb up to Corbett, pretty easy, not too steep, but long. Once we got to the top, we got our first look out over the Gorge and it is always amazing. The sight is always envigorating, and it quickened our pace down to the Vista House where we took our first pause to soak in the view. The clouds we just high enough at this point that we could see all the way down the Gorge, and the morning mist gives it an ethereal asthetic that causes you to just stare at it endlessly. We sucked down some Gatorade and made the kick ass descent down towards the falls.

The ~8 miles from the Vista House to Multnomah Falls is awesome -- nice rolling hills and tons upon tons of waterfalls everywhere you look. The new asphalt is so smooth and nice, I stayed in my big chainring from the Vista House all the way to falls. Once we got to the Falls, we ate a bit, refilled our water bottles, and I had my requisite 2 shots of espresso, and we headed on. There is still a certain victorious feeling about rolling up on the Falls on bikes.

The way back up to the Vista House was nice -- I actually really enjoy that climb. It's not as bad as it seems going down, but it's long enough to really get your blood pumping. I was feeling really good and still had lots of legs, so I cranked up it at waited for Justin at the top. Turns out he slipped his chain on the way up (ugh) and was along shortly.

Just as we were pulling out of the Vista House parking lot, we saw a group of about 6 riders coming down. They turned out to be the first of about 50 riders that we saw coming up the whole time we were heading down. There is something kick ass about flying down a descent that you climbed earlier, and it's made even sweeter when there are people chugging up it while you are rocketting down.

The rest of the ride was pretty uneventful, save for the fact that Justin did great and I am totally confident that Reach the Beach will be a breeze. We parted ways at Burnside and I205 and I hit the manual carwash on the way home to clean up the steed. I got home, showered and dusted a box of Annie's Mac and Cheese with a can of tuna mixed in and took a nap with Miles. Bad ass Sunday.

Around the Horn

Date: Wednesday, April 4th, 2007
Leave: 4:50PM
Return: 7:05PM
Distance: 38 miles
Average speed: 17.0 mph
Wind: Headwind most of the way

Justin and I had a nice, brisk run around the horn yesterday in the middle of some absolutely kick ass weather. Vest guy reared his goofball head as it was close to 70 degrees when we left his office (the usual 10 mins late, of course).

We made good time getting out Hwy 30, but were forced to wait on the shoulder for about 7-8 mins for a gap long enough to cross over to the ramp up to the St. John's bridge. While we were standing there waiting in the bike lane, a car piloted by some fucking drunk-ass nutjob came barreling up the bike lane towards us -- we both yelled, "Holy shit!" in unison and jumped up on the curb with our bikes and this fruitcake swerved back into traffic. We stood there, shocked for another couple minutes and then finally made our way up the ramp to the bridge.

I was treated a couple of times to Justin leaving his toe clips on and falling to the pavement. Good times.

Terwilliger Four Beers Deep

Date: Friday, March 30th, 2007
Leave: 4:00PM
Return: 6:00PM (minus a pitcher of beer at the Lucky Lab)
Distance: 25.3 miles
Average speed: 17.6 mph

I always allow myself to get talked into riding with Ben and Lon after a couple of beers and it is, without fail, awesome and sucky at the same time. We had a banner quarter at work this year, so the booze started flowing at around noon and didn't stop for the rest of the afternoon. Just as I was thinking, "wow, I kind of have a buzz...", both Ben and Lon proceeded to call me a pussy until I agreed to ride up to the SW Lucky Lab with them. Not really a difficult ride, but enough hill climbing that 4 beers is not a welcome inhabitant of my stomach.

The other thing about riding with Ben and Lon is that Lon has 1 speed, Fucking Flying, and Ben has many speeds, but none of them are slower than what anyone in sight is going, so it pretty much means Dave is sucking air and wheezing like pansy the entire time. We of course hit every green light, so it was a hammer fest all the way up Terwilliger to the Lab. I think Ben and Lon enjoy dragging my younger lungs around and then trying to make conversation the entire time, as if they aren't even breaking a sweat. Since I was the last one to Lab, I had the honor of buying the beers. Fuck.

After pleasant conversation and a pitcher of the organic Golden Ale, I parted ways with Ben and Lon and headed back to the office to get my bag. The descent down Terwilliger was as fun as I expected it to be -- it's rad to hit 36 mph on a sunny day. I zipped back to the office and grabbed my bag and headed home via the Springwater Trail where I got a nice 25mph pull from a racer guy.

Me getting ready to have my ass handed to me (photo courtesy of Brian Myers):

Marine Drive With Crafty

Date: Wednesday, March 28th, 2007
Leave: 4:30PM
Return: 7:15PM
Distance: 38 miles
Average speed: 14.6 mph

Justin and I decided to take advantage of the gorgeous day yesterday and take a nice easy run around "the horn"; out St. John's Bridge to Marine Drive and home via the I-205 bike path. My Achilles was still pretty tender from Monday's pathetic jaunt around the same course, but I was otherwise feeling pretty good, and it was such a nice day that it seemed silly to not get some miles in and soak in the sun a bit. I left work at around 4:30 and zipped over to Justin's office in the Pearl. I was wearing my trusty, yellow, ripped and filthy rain jacket, so I was a little warmed over when I arrived, which reminded me that the sleeves of this particular jacket are removable, and thus emerged Vest Guy. No sooner than Vest Guy emerging did I run into an old coworker, who I hadn't seen in years, who promptly remarked on how much of a dork Vest Guy is. Awesome. Justin was his usual 10 or so minutes late, so we said our goodbyes to the work day and headed out through NW Portland towards Hwy 30.

While I certainly enjoy the hell out of a good, long solo ride, I really enjoy riding with other people too. The company and conversation is always nice to have, and it is easier for me to regulate speed and effort more (for some reason) when I'm riding with other folks. We kept a nice, easy pace up and over the St. John's Bridge, but traffic was extremely heavy on Hwy 30 due to some trees getting drunk and trying to cross Hwy 26 in the middle of the day, so crossing 30 to the bridge ramp took a little time.

Once we got over the bridge onto Lombard, we made good time up to Marine Drive and were pleasantly surprised at the lack of a headwind all the way to I-205. Overall, it was a kick ass ride, I love that route for an after work ride, it's the perfect amount of length, time and effort.

To The Falls!

Date: Sunday, March 25th, 2007 Leave: 7AM Return: Noon-ish Distance: 70.4 miles Average speed: 16.4 mph

Ben and I met at the Tideman/Johnson Park rest area at 7AM on Sunday for our biggest ride to date: the wonderous (and far off) Multmonah Falls, which is about 35 miles east of downtown Portland. The weather was pretty iffy, a little drizzley and cold, but not unbearable on either front. We set off heading west on the Springwater Trail, keeping a nice and easy, but steady pace on the flats of ~17mph or so. Both Ben and I have ridden this portion of the Springwater several times, so we made really good time up to 182nd, where we turned north and rode up to Stark and turned east again. Stark is your typical large street bike path with lots of junk and debris in the way, so it wasn't long until Ben was gifted with a flat rear tire. It was just cold enough that waiting the 5 mins or so for him to change the tube had completely chilled me to the bones, and I was stoked to get back on the road... only to find that we were at the top of a 3/4 mile descent down to the Sandy river, which chilled me even further. As if on cue, as soon as we got to the bottom of the hill, Ben was flat again, so on came another 5-10 minutes of standing in the now increasing rain freezing our asses off.

While changing the tire just before the Sandy River bridge, and at the base of a fairly significant climb, three guys rode past us, at least one of which was on a fixie, which quickened Ben's tire changing pace and got us on our way, although we never saw those guys again. The climb up through Corbett warmed us back up, and was uneventful save for the fact that it began absolutely DUMPING rain on us... so much that it was ridiculous and fun to be trudging through the sheets water. The climb is not very steep, but pretty long and ends as you can either start the climb up to Larch Mountain or descend down to the Vista House and ultimately Multnomah Falls.

The quick descent down to the Vista House is really fun, especially after ~5 miles or so of climbing. We stopped at the Vista House and soaked in some more rain along with the spectacular (even in shitty weather) view. The stop was ultimately long enough to cool down again, which, given the descent from the Vista House down the historic Columbia River Highway, proved to be somewhat of a wool-headed move on our part, as by the bottom we were both frozen stiff again. Despite the cold, the only thing I could think during the descent was, "holy shit, we gotta climb this on our way back!"

The ride from the Vista House to Multnomah Falls is so awesome, especially on a bike. I have driven it several times in a car, but never on a bike, and it was just spectacular. There are so many falls and gorges and things that you miss at 35mph in a metal box that just jump out at you when you're on a bike. We were passed by only 3 or 4 cars, all of which were very careful and gave us lots of room, which was nice because it was still a colossal Oregonian downpour in our faces.

Getting to the falls was awesome, simply because it rules to roll up on a bike to a place that's a fair ways away from civilization, let alone that it was dumping rain and witch-tit cold. Ben snapped this picture of me with my shitty camera phone, which works even less in the rain -- thanks Cingular! I had a couple shots of espresso at the coffee stand and filled up my water bottles and we were off back up towards the Vista House. We took it easy on the climb back up, but even still it proved to be far less daunting than it seemed on the way down -- the more big climbs I do, the more I realize this is pretty much always the case. Still, getting back to the Vista House and up into Corbett felt great, and just as we crested the top, the sun came out in full force. It was totally a moment of shining awesomeness for me, and I think I began to annoy Ben with all my, "boy, this sure is awesome!" talk.

The ride back was pretty uneventful, but there was a bit of an annoying head-wind that made it less enjoyable than it could have been. I made it home to an empty house and took a shower and proceeded to construct an ass-kicking omelette with about 10 pieces of turkey bacon that tasted like it was made by the Specialized Angel.